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Hangsen’s Cherry & Blueberry

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Wow.  OK, here goes… The website for Hangsen Holdings’ brand of E-Liquid makes some bold claims.  And if even some of these claims are true, I’d like to tell Mr. Jide Yao that sometimes it’s not good to be the first (assuming the truth value of these claims to be positive).  Ever hear of the Duryea Motor Wagon?  No?

How ’bout the Model-T Ford?  Well, the Duryea came first, but for lack of a better, more descriptive word, it sucked!  It was a horse-drawn carriage with a 4HP (not a typo) engine.  Why not skip the engine and just use four horses?  And regarding Hangsen’s, why not just light up a Pall Mall Red?  In reality, I still haven’t been able to verify the “…[Jide Yao] invented the very first PG/VG liquid” claim made on the homepage of Hangsen Holdings’ website.

Regardless, I have nothing but horrible, venomous things to write about their atrocious E-Juice!  I’m gonna go ahead and lump together my reviews for both the Cherry and Blueberry varieties of Hangsen’s products, because there isn’t enough of a difference between the two to warrant another, separate review.

Also, I don’t wish to waste a lot of time on this brand… I’d rather continue my search for the E-Juice that God Himself would be happy to vape in his E-Cigarette of Paradise!

Let’s talk about flavor.  OK, maybe I skipped a few steps here.  Let’s define flavor first.  Flavor is a word that suggests a state of taste (one of our five human senses), which acts to stimulate the taste buds of the tongue in the same, or similar way, as does a natural food or ingredient of the same sort.

I only offer this rudimentary definition of the concept of taste and flavor because, apparently, Hangsen Holdings’ lost this knowledge along the path toward being “pioneers in the E-Cigarette industry.”  The two “flavors”, or shall I model numbers, that I was SO blessed to experience had absolutely no taste whatsoever, except possibly a slight tinge of a generic, chemical sweetness that wasn’t even pleasing enough to take away from that cheap, gas station, disposable, tobacco-“flavored” e-cig essence that we all try to avoid so fervently.  In short, what I’d like you, the reader, to take away from this review is that Hangsen E-Liquid is to E-Juice flavor what a Craig 12″ 720P “HDTV”- $49.99 @ CVS is to actual, real 1080P 3D HDTVs upwards of 40″ @ Best Buy.

Now, let’s talk about the throat hit and olfactory categories of Hangsen’s disappointing product… [insert long, contemplative pause here] There’s actually nothing to talk about here.  I’ll go ahead and throw some words out there.  Feel free to arrange them however you’d like.  Here they are: Harsh, rubbery, pigeon shit, stagnant-pond-watered-down McDonald’s maple syrup, ear wax, rotting corpse.  Go ahead, make a sentence or two and you’ll be able to put together a good picture in your head illustrating what your nose and throat will go through when you vape Hangsen’s Pissylene Glycol Burning-industrial-waste vaping product.

The only topic I haven’t covered yet is the volume and appearance of the vapor produced by Hangsen’s bottles of gullibility.  Surprisingly… REALLY surprisingly… the vapor production of these two E-liquids wasn’t horrible.  Congrats, Jide Yao!  One out of five ain’t bad.  Wait a sec.  Actually, that is pretty bad, isn’t it.  Oh, well.  I tried to squeeze out something positive, and I’m pretty sure I fell short of the mark.  I’ll try harder next time if you do, Hangsen Holdings.

P.S.  Cranking up the voltage on this E-juice will only magnify and amplify this horrid experience.  It would be like saying, “Hey, I can see the amphibious landing at Normandy from my boat here, but what I’d really like to do is get closer so I can take in the scenery and heighten the experience for myself”… except that vaping an Hangsen E-liquid will yield no positive results such as ridding Europe of Murderous Nazis.

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