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Easy Vapors Sweet Blackberry

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I had high hopes for this one.  Let’s go ahead and bold-print and italicize the word HAD in the preceding sentence.  I don’t know why, but something about the packaging, or label, display, or the word “sweet” preceding the name of a flavor that is already inherently sweet made me think that this particular E-juice would be well worth the purchase.  I was wrong, but kudos to Easy Vapors for tricking me into believing that I was investing in a high-end product.  Even the price suggested premium status.  The vaping experience, however, suggested otherwise.

Imagine taking a fake sugar sweetener like Splenda or Truvia, and using it to “flavor” an E-juice base of 60% propylene glycol… Then sticking a picture of a blackberry on the label and naming your haphazard creation “Sweet Blackberry.”  The result would be a non-blackberry tasting, chemically-sweetened atomized vapor with a bitter, chemically after-taste.  I searched far and wide for post-collegiate-level terminology that could adequately convey the most accurate, descriptive, and all-encompassing prognostication regarding this product.  You know… some sort of specialized industry means of jargonization capable of relaying a pictorial mental image.  Here’s what I came up with…

…Are you ready for it?…

…Here it comes…

…brace yourselves!…

“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

OK.  Now that that’s out of my system, we can continue.  The throat hit of Easy Vapors’ “Sweet Blackberry” is harsh, while also being non-existent.  Don’t ask me how that’s possible.  I know of no law of physics that proves that opposites are capable of co-existing in the same place at the same time…  Probably something to do with quantum science or some shit.  While vaping this juice, I couldn’t feel the inhale, but at the same time, it produced a sensation tantamount to swallowing a ball of steel wool.  And nobody around you will know the horrors you’re going through, because the travelling plumes of “Sweet Blackberry” carry absolutely no olfactory quality whatsoever.  I suppose it’s possible that a bloodhound, using it’s supernatural sense of scent, might sniff the air and gag dramatically, but a regular, human nose remains unaffected.

It’s at times like this that I wonder at the severe differences in E-juice qualities, when all of these various manufacturers are more or less using the same ingredients in the production of their liquids.  It must depend heavily on the distributors of the ingredients themselves.  Nicotine suspended in either PG or VG seems like a boolean decision, as regards laboratory mixing… but I’m guessing that propylene and vegetable glycols, produced in different ways by suppliers, differ greatly in vaping qualities.  I’m gonna look into this and see if I can’t figure out which PG and VG suppliers, not to mention nicotine and flavor suppliers, are found most often in the laboratories of the best E-juice companies.

I’ll tie up this review by saying that nothing, not even steeping, varying the voltage, or sacrificing a fatted calf to the deity of vapor, does anything at all to improve the experience you will no doubt suffer if you second guess this review.  Steer away!

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