I’m beginning to think that the gods might become angry with us all, because we seem to continually run top-secret reconnaissance missions into the fortified kitchens of Mt. Olympus’ kitchens to steal recipes that no mere mortal should ever be allowed to experience in an imperfect state. I feel a smiting coming on for Golden Gate Vapor for leading this undercover journey to heaven and back in order to win through with the prized, golden Melon Chill recipe from Zeus’s personal cookbook. (Or would that be Hera’s cookbook… has Women’s Lib found its way to the halls of the Greek gods?) The mastermixers in the laboratory of Golden Gate Vapor have not only figured out how to pack all of the dense, foggy moisture in the San Francisco atmosphere into every single bottle of their E-liquids, but they have found that perfect ratio of melon to menthol which many Vape companies have come close to, but so far none have truly mastered in its entirety. That ratio is tantamount to cracking the Bible Code, or proving a mathematical pattern to stock market fluctuations. It should be one of those things that’s simply hypothesised in speculative fiction, but thanks to our friends over there in that awe-inspiring, scenic view from the late Alphonse Capone’s prison cell at Alcatraz, it is now a reality that can be seen, touched, and most importantly, tasted.
The flavor of the Melon Chill is a cross between several popular strains of the melon family, such as the delectable honeydew, the scrumptious watermelon, and the delicious cantaloupe (flip fantasia!… pop-quiz 90’s kids!). The “chill” of Golden Gate Vapor’s Melon Chill is a perfect, cooling boost to the melon flavors, without bearing enough of its own presence to take away from the fruit flavors at all. There is the tiniest, not too understated, definitely not too overstated, hint of mintiness in the after taste of the Melon Chill vaping experience, otherwise I would assume that the throat “cooling” effect came from koolada, rather than menthol. The best analogy I can think of to describe how this E-juice affects the palate is to imagine Tropical Smoothie (or Jamba Juice, for all you hippies out west) released a new, all-melon smoothie, with a mint sprig and a touch of a mint extract blended up in the mix. The cold, the fresh and crisp melon flavor, and that hint of mint that one would experience while drinking a smoothie such as this imagined one, would be almost identical, I would imagine, to the vaping of this Golden Gate Vapor juice… less the brain freeze, of course!
Now for my favorite part… the incredible, amazing, stupendous, staggering, terrific, inspiring, marvelous, exemplary, and unwonted (not to be confused with unwanted) throat hit of this, and all other Golden Gate Vapor products. As I’ve pointed out in several other reviews, there is one trait that makes the difference between a good E-juice manufacturer and a great one. It’s also the same characteristic that elevates the practice of vaping above and beyond the smoking of traditional, analog tobacco cigarettes. I don’t care if you’re smoking the world’s greatest Cuban Cigar, or an Opus X from A. Fuente, or shisha soaked in molasses out of a water pipe at a hookah bar… if you are inhaling the smoke of something that is currently burning, the chance of there being any actual moisture in your smoke is slim to none and Slim lost a to-the-death pistol duel over a woman and a plot of farming land just outside of town. As is fairly normal in the world of physics; burnt = dry. The voluminous plumes of vapor produced by the atomization of Golden Gate Vapor’s Melon Chill are inundated with billions of microscopic beads of humidity that make your inhalation and overall breathing experience one that could never be achieved through any type of traditional smoking activities.
Golden Gate, just like my recently new-found prize vape manufacturer, Epic Vape, has taken a well-deserved place in my top five E-juicers. If you’re a DIY (Do It Yourself) E-juice mixologist, or you’re looking into opening your very own E-juice manufacturing label, it would do you well to pick up a bottle of Golden Gate Vapor’s Melon Chill to use as a measuring stick for your own, personal mixing progress. I’m not saying it’s impossible to make an E-juice better than this one (after all, there still hasn’t been a perfect 500 on my E-liquid rating scale as of yet), but I am saying that if you do, by some stroke of sheer brilliance, manage to produce a glowing magnificence greater than that of Melon Chill, you will most likely trigger a universal event reminiscent of the theoretical ‘Big Bang’ that may possibly wipe out all of existence in the blink of an eye. Just sayin’… don’t meddle with forces beyond your control.